Clickbait | Holly Baxter (book spoilers and ending explained)
This is a book that I absolutely had to spoil because (if no other reason), I am absolutely gobsmacked by the instigating event that causes the main character’s life to unravel! I’m literally blushing thinking about it. I’m covering my eyes. I’m giggling. I’m mentally texting everyone I hypothetically have in common with her to discuss the absolute tea! Ready to talk about it? I am!
What is Clickbait about?
Natasha is a thirty-five-year-old journalist who has essentially ruined her career and personal life in a single, highly-embarrassing mistake. A truly HUGE mistake. One that ruined lives, and not only her own. In the wake of this, Natasha has divorced her kind husband Joe and left him behind in their beautiful apartment in London. She’s managed to keep her job… sort of. But she no longer is assigned to the high-brown real journalism she built a career on. Now, she’s been relegated to the lowest of low areas of journalism… writing clickbait stories with no substance. She has moved in the middle of winter to Rockaway Beach, which I’ve never been to but frankly it does sound depressing.
In the midst of this major fall from grace, Natasha is unsure how to get her life back. She loved her husband, Joe. She didn’t want to divorce, but that wasn’t her decision (we could argue it was her decision but I digress). Her family lives nearby, though they only remind her of how horribly she messed up her life. She also makes the questionable move to offer her ex-boyfriend Zach the spare room in her apartment. This should be a platonic relationship, but Natasha still has feelings. Suffice it to say this is a bad idea!
What happened to derail Natasha’s life?
I was desperate to find out. I nearly wanted to skip ahead because iI couldn’t imagine it could possibly be that bad. It had to be something that Natasha would be able to get redemption for. Perhaps this was a case of the big media conglomerate using her as a scapegoat, right? If only! The reveal was jaw-dropping! Juicy! It was a car crash I couldn’t look away from. I was covering my eyes but peeking through and frantically devouring the sordid details.
Natasha is assigned to write a feature on a barely-eighteen year-old swimming star who qualified for the Olympics. He’s sweet, down-to-earth, hot, and Natasha gets a bit flirty with him in interviews all in the name of journalism of course. On their last interview, she asks him to go to the pub with her (this after she brought a bikini to every interview in case he invited her to swim). A few beers in and she leans in and asks him if he’s ever had someone go down on him (only she said it much more graphically!). And she talks dirty (filthy!) to him about what she wants to do to him in the bathroom, and then follows through on it. Hot! But also inappropriate…
Now, let’s remember that Natasha is married, in a position of power, and has a journalistic code of conduct to follow. We don’t stay in the bathroom with them for the main event, but we knew what was about to go down. Obviously Natasha keeps this to herself (she might be delusional but she isn’t stupid). She cheated on her husband and acted completely inappropriately in her job. So how did she get found out? I know what you’re thinking… Maybe his coach saw them or someone recognized him in the pub. Right? RIGHT?
Wrong. Natasha outs herself. Not by confessing, not by guilt, but accidentally in her own article (girl!). She spends most of the feature as a bio and what he expects in the upcoming Olympics. She describes the shocking scandal when it was discovered that his coach was abusing swimmers on their team. And then she describes sitting across from him in a “romantically-lit pub” and describes his muscular body in very descriptive language. And then she ends with this sentence:
“All I can say is that after spending the past six weeks following this young man around on his pre-Olympic tour of the UK’s most low-key swimming pools, I’m going to find it very hard to forget him—every inch of him.”
What?! Girl…
A social media firestorm ensues. Everyone from her editor to her own husband is up in arms. Men’s rights activists are coming for her. The strangest part of it all, though, is that despite the massive negative reaction all over the internet, Natasha doesn’t really acknowledge–even to herself–what a big deal it is. When her boss from New York calls to let her know they are demoting her to a junior position working in “aggregation” for the time being, she is stunned. She thought he might send flowers and laugh about how overblown it was. He has to explain to her the ethics she violated writing that piece (and this is before anyone realizes she actually was physical with him!). When he mentions the perception of the swimmer as a minor, she says, “he’s not a minor.” Her boss is stunned to silence as she clarifies he is technically at the age of consent. Natasha!!!
Even in the midst of a panic attack over her job, Natasha still somehow believes her marriage will be fine. When she gets home, he’s spiraling and pleading for her to tell him nothing happened. He’s already humiliated having his face plastered everywhere. While Natasha will cross a lot of lines, she can’t lie to Joe and confesses. When he kicks her out, she goes to see the wealthy woman who had connected her with the story, Footsie. She stays with her in a deep depression until Footsie gets worried and sends her back home.
“A sordid five minutes in a pub bathroom, my kingdom for a BJ.”
I simply was FLOORED. It was bold of Baxter to drop Natasha to that depth before the readers had a chance to like her (she truly burned this woman to the ground). There is absolutely no part of the reader that sides with her or thinks what she did was ok. When her husband asks for a divorce, we are on his side. Her best friend puts distance between them. So much distance that when she has her first child, she doesn’t even text Natasha directly, just bcc’s her on an email (how embarrassing!). Through it all, Natasha sees herself as the victim of this situation that she created. We don’t lack empathy, though. She’s clearly in a mental health spiral and needs help.
What happens post-scandal?
Natasha buys a depressing apartment on Rockaway Beach. She bizarrely allows her ex-boyfriend who destroyed her heart and never wants to commit to live in her spare room. And she spends her days writing absolutely unhinged clickbait news stories like “Former Miss Brazil is PANSEXUAL, Might Marry a SEX DOLL!!!” (the titles were honestly soooo funny). Zach moves in; Natasha is completely delusional thinking they will get back together (they don’t). Instead, he is seeing other women, holds her at a distance, tries to be clear with her, and Natasha doesn’t seem to get it (on some level, I think she does, though). As with the events preceding this, she’s not ready to handle the truth.
Things continue and while her life doesn’t necessarily get any worse (the bar is in the basement though and Natasha is still playing limbo with it), it doesn’t get better either. Her job is soul-sucking and she can’t get another because of the scandal. Zach makes it clear that he isn’t interested, which Natasha continues to get irrationally upset about. And eventually, her mother and sister are tired of how she is treating them and they blow up at her. At a fourth of July party, she sees Zach kissing her sister and blows up at him. He moves out (literally that night) and blocks her everywhere.
Meanwhile Natasha has made friends with the Ukrainian woman named Olinka who sells coffee on the boardwalk. She becomes her confidant and reminds Natasha that it is never too late to start over. Natasha goes to work and writes another clickbait headline, but in the body of the article she writes about the toxicity of clickbait news cycle and then announces her resignation. The article stays up for 27 minutes before it is pulled down. It has already gone viral. Natasha throws her badge away and goes home.
How does it end?
At this point I was cautiously optimistic that Natasha was finally on her way up (she had a long way to go though). She learns that the Ukrainian woman on the boardwalk, Olinka, passed away, but she finds a note from her at her apartment. The note reveals that Olinka’s real name is Jaylene Wilson and she gives Natasha permission to look her up and do what she wants with the information.
The woman has several missing person pages dating back nearly three decades. Jaylene Wilson disappeared in the middle of the night and was never heard from again. Missing persons files had gone cold. Everyone presumed her dead. Her abusive boyfriend was sent to prison for her murder. Natasha writes her story up in a long form piece and sends it to the New York Post to publish. She moves to Switzerland for a job working for Footsie. Her ex-husband, Joe, calls her and she finally apologizes. He’s getting married again. The conversation is nice but bittersweet. The end.
What did I think?
I expected a rom com and while there were some funny parts—particularly with her job and the ridiculous stories she is asked to write—this is a weighty book. The reader has a front row seat to Natasha’s journey trying to climb back from rock bottom, but that doesn’t happen until the very end. Natasha spends most of the book completely pushing aside any true feelings and continuing to self-sabotage. Her editor, Footsie, her best friend, her mother, and her sister all try to get her to fix her life. But really, it’s Olinka that finally gets through to her when she reminds her that there is always time to start over. It’s a good lesson we could all keep in mind in our lowest or most insecure times.
The story about her career-ending move was so deeply scandalous, I was shocked! That started the book off on a juicy note. Baxter was bold with her decision to allow Natasha to be unsympathetic. It isn’t only what she did, it’s that Natasha takes no accountability for it and doesn’t think she should have to. Natasha is frustrating and unlikable, and yet there is a rawness to her that keeps this from being a hate-read. I wanted Natasha to get it together, but as with life, she has to want to get it together. Thankfully by the end, she did.
